Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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