Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
