I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
