I wannas sexs uuuuu
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
