The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
