don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
