You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
