I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
