I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
