I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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