He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
