I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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