Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
