so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
