So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
