those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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