You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
