We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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