i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
