worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There r osticjed everywhere
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
