Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
