You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
