you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
