It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
