I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
