Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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