so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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