Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I would fuck him just for his dog
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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