just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
