He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
