I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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