North Korea, Best Korea!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
