So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
