Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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