yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
