I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
