And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
