Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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