party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
