I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
