i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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