did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
