She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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