69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
