Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize