I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
