ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
