CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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