So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
