I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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