dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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