I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
