Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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