You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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