Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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