You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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