id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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