ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
