Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize