im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
