If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
