i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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