If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
