I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I puked a lego.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
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He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
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She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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