Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize