I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
